Two Things

1. BAH! I hate possums!! I was going to post a picture to give you an idea of how disgusting they are, but I didn’t have the heart. They are SO foul. Last night while Katie and I were enjoying a lovely evening on the porch, a nasty possum tried to climb up the steps. Hang on, aren’t they supposed to be afraid of people? Evidently not, because after Katie (my hero!) shooed it away while I tried to suppress the urge to shriek uncontrollably, the dang thing skittered through the bushes and tried to jump up on the other end of the porch, mere feet from us, with the porch light glaring away! SICK ME OUT! SICK ME OUT!! Dude, a possum is basically a R.O.U.S. It’s a two-foot-long rodent with a ratty tail. RAT! SICK! That’s right, everyone, a RAT (possum), a giant RAT (possum) tried to JUMP up onto my porch while I was sitting RIGHT THERE. AUGH! Am I making the trauma of this moment clear to you, folks? A RAT!! (possum)

2. I’m driving home a week from tomorrow. Oh, you’d like to see the route? I thought you’d never ask.

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14 thoughts on “Two Things

  1. 2) Wishing you safe travel.

    1) Sorry to hear about your trauma. Of course, if possums worry you, you won't like the Australian “Drop Bears” (ask about them when you get here)

  2. I shot several possums and raccoons who decided they needed to invade our chicken coop. They are indeed ugly little devils. That's why ladies should all carry (at least) small-caliber handguns.

    Ironically, your route will take you within 90 mins of my parents' house while you're in Missouri and on the 36 corridor. I'll be heading back to Missouri in about two weeks to see family and friends and to interview at a school in St. Louis.

    Happy trails!

  3. Ah, the memories inspired by your upcoming trek…
    -I got pulled by a cop in Omaha while driving a UHaul going east.
    -I had to rip the fuel cap out of another UHaul near Lincoln while moving west.
    -somewhere close to Sterling on I-76 has one of my favorite Interstate signs ever. I'm paraphrasing, “Bicycles-stay to the right.” I love Colorado.

    Ben G.

  4. Surely you could squeeze in a trip to Mexico. I mean, you're sooo close and all! 🙂
    I agree, possums are creepy. One freaked my puppy out when she was just a few weeks old; it was night too so all we saw were beady little eyes glimmering through the darkness. Ick!
    BTW, I enjoy your blog! I'm sorry it's taken me this long to delurk…

  5. Radagast — thank you, and oh dear.

    Jacob — no, Alannis, that's not irony. But I think Missouri is beautiful.

    Ben — thanks for the comment! That stretch of road has to be one of the most boring in the universe. I always have to talk myself out of propping the wheel in just the right spot and taking a little snooze.

    Jessica — thanks for de-lurking! Seriously, possums make me want to barf.

    Dad — when I was googling pictures, I saw one of a person dangling a treat in front of their pet possum, who was standing on its hind legs and begging. AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! HUUUUURRRRGGGHHH!!! PET GIANT RAT!!! AAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHH!!

  6. The possums in Tasmania are buitifull and pure. They carefully sift through the carbage and only eat the best apples on the tree.

    Are you going to take photos of your roadtrip and do weird things along the way? Oh, too old for that. Are you going to buy food at the gas station, or take a cut lunch from home?

  7. It would be a little strange to take pictures of my road trip when I'm by myself. I will take food along with me — gas station food is both vile-tasting and unhealthy and I refuse to eat it. I'm bringing a cooler.

  8. we watched the Princess Bride last night with some of the RFs. Would you believe that one of them (a 21 yr. old girl) had NEVER SEEN IT?!!

    I know you won't believe me … but Tassie possums are not as disgusting as US ones. They're fuzzier.

  9. It's going to cost you like billions of dollars in gas money to drive that far. I was thinking, “Why doesn't she just stay on I-70 on her way home?” and then remember that home isn't in Denver. Jess's family lives in Kansas, and nothing is worse than driving through Kansas. Nebraska is definitely the lesser of two evils. What really pisses me off is the speed limit is 70 in I-70 instead of 75 and Kansas State Patrol are pricks and look for Colorado plates. Random fun facts with Doug…

  10. Haha… well, it turned out to be cheaper than flying anyway. It's so dumb that the speed limit in Kansas is only 70 — what, they want you to slow down and enjoy the scenery? This route is way better, since it means I only have to drive through St. Louis, and it'll be like midnight when I do, so… good all around.

  11. “But Wesley, what about the ROUS's??”

    I'm very honored to be your hero, dear heart. I will gladly shoo your vermin away…anytime, anytime.

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