Sometimes I Feel Like I Need A Vacation

From serious posts.

My pal Jamie Barnes is currently on his way back from Waco, where he was at a (by all accounts pretty sketchy) conference.  He just tweeted that he feels like he never goes through the security line quickly enough, and I replied that, if you travel often enough, you’ll soon have the satisfaction of looking down on all the noobs who don’t realize that they can’t bring their 3 full-size bottles of shampoo in their carry-on bag; and what’s more fun than derision?  I mean really!

And that got me thinking of all the funny security-line and airport stories I’ve amassed over the years since I started traveling.

A recent favorite, in the Sydney airport on my way home from this last trip to Australia: a full-grown woman had a nuclear-attack-siren-level temper tantrum upon being asked to do the normal stuff you have to do in the security line.  Like, you know, wait your turn.  She was trying to snatch her bag and purse off the belt and shove through the line — and she actually did cut in front of several of us, muttering that she didn’t have time for this nonsense.  The security screeners, bless ’em, were just cracking up behind their hands as she screeched, “I want to speak to a manager!  This is absolutely unbelievable!  I have a plane to catch!  You can’t make me wait here!  I’m in a hurry!  Give me my things back!”

There are really only a few things you need to know when traveling, most of them variations of stuff you learned in kindergarten.  Wait your turn.  Use your manners.  Read the directions. 

Any funny or horrible stories from your travels, dear readers?

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One thought on “Sometimes I Feel Like I Need A Vacation

  1. I think the time we traveled next to a little (3?) girl who wouldn't wear a seat belt, screamed when corrected, and slapped her mother on the face when asked to please sit still topped my worst traveling companions list.

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