The issue for me is, the Scriptures don’t ever frame modesty in terms of keeping our brothers from sinning sexually. They frame it as a gender-neutral demeanor that begins in the heart and works its way into things like behavior and clothing. If we start with “ask the men,” we’re starting in the wrong place. We need to start with, “Look at the heart.”
Do I desire to draw attention to Christ with my speech? Do I desire to put as few stumbling-blocks as possible before people (not just men!) by my comportment and dress? Do I desire to cause people to think on whatever is good and pure and true and lovely and admirable? Do I desire to kill my own pride and need for recognition? Are these desires reflected in the way I speak, act, and clothe my body? THAT’S modesty.